My first day was underwhelming.

I could list all the things I would do differently, and all the things that were out of my control that affected things, and go on and on and on. But I won’t. I just don’t feel like it.

Instead I’ll just say that the biggest letdown for today was my own too-high expectations. I remember the community that we built in each of my four classes last year. By the end of the year, it was a crazy joy to go to each of my classes. I seriously cared about every single one of my students more than I thought I could. [1]  That’s my last memory of teaching. I forgot that I don’t get that at the beginning of the year. The class clown hasn’t come out. Students don’t know how they’re allowed to act in class, what I expect of them. I still don’t know what they expect from me. I’m having a real hard time reading them. That stuff comes with time.

I totally forgot. I totally forgot that it takes time for a group of individuals to become a class.

Sam

[1] Ah, selective memory and the idealization and whitewashing that comes with time!