I don’t know what is up or down anymore. My whole life is taken up by school. Yesterday I said “had a hard day, but hopefully things will get better. feeling like a bad teacher. why can’t i get my kids to learn?!?” I felt like such a failure. My anxiety and stress were through the roof. And today I had just a magical, scintillating, investigatory calculus class. It was on the function . (Remember I taught it last year? This year it was even more fun! Because I tied it into the “pretty/ugly” functions thing we did a few days earlier.)
So I keep pingponging from despair to elation. From day to day, yes, but even from hour to hour.
One thing that’s getting to me is how dang hard I’ve been working. And needing it to let up. SOON. So I don’t go crazy.
Recent Tweets from the past couple days:
- today got home at around 8:30ish. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
- wow i hate this week already. its 9pm and im just leaving school.
- Omg I’m home at 6:20pm. Someone pinch me!
- Just got home. [8:30pm] Argh. This needs to stop.
I have no idea why I’m staying at school so late. I am doing stuff, but what is it I’ve been doing? I just don’t know. Seriously. What could be taking up all my time?!? Well, this blog is for me, and I need to sort through this. I’m going to type whatever I can recall doing in the past week or so and see how it adds up. (Besides planning classes. Obvi.)
1. Organized nominations for the Student-Faculty Judiciary Committee. Met nominees before school to talk about their speeches and what the SFJC is about. Kept in contact with Deans and nominees about this. Elections happen tomorrow.
2. Organized and ran my first SFJC case. Wrote response letter for the case.
3. Graded and recorded grades for calculus. Standards Based Grading. It is taking a surprisingly HUGE amount of time, this grading. GARGANTUAN. And I even started cutting down on my feedback.
4. Wrote reassessments for calculus. And graded reassessments. (So far, there haven’t been more than a half-dozen, but with two skills each reassessment…)
5. Graded an Algebra II assessment.
6. Wrote home to parents of calculus students who are currently struggling. And set up (and starting having) individual meetings (a lot of individual meetings) to talk with students about how they are feeling, what they are doing for the class, and having them come up with a concrete plan of action.
7. Met with three senior students to talk about their college essay drafts which I read and commented on.
8. Planned and facilitated a 90 minute meeting with 14 faculty members on the topic of “Academic Integrity.” (I have 3 or 4 more of these to plan and facilitate. Luckily I have two co-leaders to work with.)
9. Prepared for Parent Night (which is happening this Thursday).
On the very near horizon, I have to…
1. Grade the first batch of Multivariable Calculus problem sets.
2. Plan a 4 hour orientation for the elected Student-Faculty Judiciary Committee members (next weekend).
3. Prepare for the monthly meeting with the head of the upper school about the committee.
4. Email and set up times to meet with Algebra II students who are struggling, to come up with a plan of action.
5. Write one or two paragraph “interim comments” for all students in all my classes who are struggling (we do this halfway through each quarter).
6. Write a letter of recommendation.
I don’t know what the point of this post was. It turned into me rambling, and trying to find out where all my time is going. I now see. Everywhere except for lesson planning. Barf.