For the past week and some, I’ve been at the Klingenstein Summer Institute for Early Career Teachers. We’ve been kept so busy that I haven’t had a lot of time to post, so I am losing insights left and right. Sigh! But I am making it a priority to talk about the reorientation I’m having with regard to math curriculum before I head off to PCMI.

One thing we’re doing today is having others watch videos of us teaching. And it’s terrifying. It was terrifying when I was being videotaped. I don’t know what will happen, how we will structure the conversations (they give us free reign to do what we want with regard to the conversations),

Something that I’ve heard happens with video analysis is that the teacher, before doing it, has one conception of who they are and what they are like in the classroom. They have this impression based on what’s going on in their head. When they watch the video, they suddenly see a very different person, someone they might be unacquainted with. It breaks you down.

That’s what happened when I watched my video last night.

But I’ve held, for about two years now, that I felt that video analysis of teachers is actually going to be the most powerful and next form of serious professional development… So I’m trying to overcome my fear, and so I asked a couple of our mathemablogotwittersphere cabal to watch my video and send me feedback. It’s terrifying. I feel like my blog gives one big false impression of who I am as a teacher (read this), and so it’s scary to think that people who I respect a lot will suddenly think: WTF this guy sucks.

But then I decided: heck if I’m not okay with that, because isn’t that the whole point of me blogging and twittering. I reoriented my thinking to say I own this class (I felt when I finished it was one of my better classes) and I’m using this to suck a little less. Going with that mindset (Dweck’s “growth mindset” anyone?) has made me feel like I can do this.

Anyone who has any experience with videotaping their classroom and self-analyzing their tape, or analyzing other’s tapes, or online resources which give a “method” to analysis, or any notes about their experiences, I’d love to hear them in the comments.

UPDATE: I just want to clarify, I am taking things slowly so I don’t think I’m ready to share it with more people, yet. i just want to slowly edge myself into this.