Favorite Tweets #21

crstn85Also Real teachers cheer when they hear that April 1 does not fall on a school day &know it’s better to seek forgiveness than ask permission

k8nowak@crstn85 Personally I cheer louder when I hear 4/20 does not fall on a school day.

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bowmanimal@dcox21 it would be funny to secretly replace kids keyboard map and show them how frustrating a non function is

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samjshaheveryone probably knows this but @bowmanimal is back on his own at http://www.bowmandickson.com. his real name is still kiki, which is funny to me.

cheesemonkeysf@samjshah @bowmanimal Yes, but does he have fancy giant eyelashes???

samjshah@cheesemonkeysf @bowmanimal even with many entreaties, he refused eyelashes. his life is so empty, i know, without me and without eyelashes.

samjshah@cheesemonkeysf @bowmanimal easy fix: move to nyc #wishfulthinking #whatifithrewacoininafountaininrome?#workedforkristenbell

cheesemonkeysf@samjshah @bowmanimal It’s hard to imagine how he can feed and dress himself.

cheesemonkeysf@btwnthenumbers @samjshah@bowmanimal Truly.

bowmanimal@cheesemonkeysf @btwnthenumbers@samjshah haha not fair I was sleeping during all this witty commentary.

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madcaptenorwondering if the laughs erupting from downstairs are a Poisson process, but timing them would be creepy.

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FoussOne of the senior girls stuffed her freshman brother’s locker with bouncy balls and pingpong balls this morning. So funny!

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sarcasymptote@bowmanimal would you rather have fists the size of nostrils or nostrils the size of fists?

bowmanimal@sarcasymptote bahaha perfect. I think I’d go with the fists. You cant hide your nostrils

sarcasymptote@bowmanimal yeah, but if someone makes fun of the size of your nostrils, you can still punch them

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sarcasymptoteOK, before it was just joke-panic, but now, shit got real. THE BODEGAS IN ZONE B ARE OUT OF NUTELLA. GOD HELP US ALL.

samjshah@sarcasymptote dear god, THE WORLD HAS GOTTEN OUT OF CONTROL! locusts and famine, coming up next.

dandersod@sarcasymptote time to start looting.#onlysortakidding

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sarcasymptote@samjshah weird how the playlists have become a huge thing all of a sudden. i dont remember people doing this for other disasters

arosey@sarcasymptote @samjshah It’s only because this disaster is affecting the hipsters. Normally, hurricanes don’t reach Brooklyn.

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johnberrayHave on the board for new students to see when then enter on Tuesday. “Welcome. I’m Mr. Berray. I’m lucky to be your teacher.”

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park_star@bowmanimal @jybuell @samjshah but isn’t be able to synthesize the most important bit of all?what are we telling kids if we keep it separate

samjshah@park_star that sam shah is a terrible teacher who doesn’t teach kids to think for themselves?

park_star@samjshah this happens to me far more often than i should admit.

park_star@samjshah oh as if. if you were here right now i’d hit you upside the head with something.

samjshah@park_star i hope to god it’s a baguette with some butter and jam. im starving.

park_star@samjshah nah, i really like you so i’d put nutella on the baguette :)

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trreedRT @GiggleFlower: Entropy isn’t what it used to be.

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bowmanimaldorm meetings tonight, proctor’s most important piece of bathroom advice 4 the younger students in the dorm: if you have bad aim, then sit.

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sophgermainyou know your school is amazing when in the rain instead of looking dreary it looks enchanted.

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k8nowakWhatever demon possessed me to wear hose and heels today, I curse that demon.

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rdkpicklethis is the best thing i have ever seen ever. !!!! RT@thescamdog: @sarcasymptote I made a cover for your book. PDF: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6062352/Sarcysymptote%20Book.pdf

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sarcasymptoteI’m not sure if I have to put cyanide and mustard gas under “allergies” on the emergency contact sheet, but it’s good to be safe.

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sophgermain@k8nowak competent is good. I’m feeling overwhelmed.

sophgermainoverwhelmed. maybe just whelmed?

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samjshah@sarcasymptote yes lots of #ed331 students in our midsts. little do they know, i tweet only about bieber, gaga, and hypothetical gabiebgas.

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samjshah… i think i got the kids on board. got a bunch saying it was awesome. next year i should wait until day 2 to go into my diatribe on…

samjshah… the evil black shadowy pnumbra that they don’t realize exists (namely: they can fall into bad patterns = hard to get out of).

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mpershanLines don’t die in Microsoft Word. You put in a line, it’s there. Forever.

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mrhodotnetShowed kids my calc notebook from HS as example of neatness and organization. S:”Mr. H. You were learning trig the day I was born!” -_-;

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sophgermainI seriously miss dudes. just having them around. dear lord there are so many women.

samjshah@sophgermain watch some die hard or whatever it is dudes watch. maybe they’ll flock? i wouldn’t know. never really been a dude.

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jybuellI’m coveting a Doxie scanner right now. I blame@park_star

samjshah@jybuell @park_star OMG i want one now too!

jybuell@samjshah @park_star it’s the pink hearts right?

samjshah@jybuell @park_star DUH!

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cheesemonkeysfI have not tweeted much about unicorns lately. I’m sorry, tweeps.

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jybuellquote from a teacher today”The supt gave me a hug. For a sec I tensed up bc I thought she was going to stab me in the back of the neck.”

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jybuell@samjshah @occam98 that’s the way to go. As my kids say, don’t talk about it. be about it.

jybuell@occam98 @samjshah they actually say that before they’re about to fight, but I’ve co-opted it.

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MythagonS’s in my room after school playing Yu-gi-Oh and Magic. They needed somewhere to play and thought of me.#kindaflattered #bringmeyourgeeks!

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samjshah“I’m off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Shah.” Best moment of the day.

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TeacherCMe: “What are your hopes and dreams for the year?” 1st grader: “I want to watch a person milk a cow on the SMARTBoard.”

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sarcasymptote@dcox21 you can’t make footprints in the sands of time sitting on your ass. And who wants to make assprints in the sands of time?

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dcox21@samjshah How could you forget these guys? http://yfrog.us/b6xbez

JackieB@dcox21 @samjshah I really expected to see a picture of a spider.

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samjshah@SweenWSweens i don’t think i have ever said “i’m going to bed” and then actually done it. you’re right.

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Mythagon@samjshah Epic. Nice job raising the bar. Now I’m going to have to stalk someone famous and get a picture with them. Hmmm…

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lmhenry9I really need a new dose of @samjshah‘s favorite tweets. Can’t really explain why, but I need that kind of happy right now. Kthanks!

SweenWSweens@lmhenry9 @samjshah Quick! Everyone say something funny!

park_star@SweenWSweens @lmhenry9 @samjshah you leave twitter for months and months & then show up demanding funny? #sometweeple #maybeifyoudanceforit

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sarcasymptote@SweenWSweens @park_star @lmhenry9@samjshah I made a kid who had a dentist appt get a note from them on a picture of a tooth. That count?

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rdkpickle“who is building the daddy long legs? where is mother nature? sleeping?” BEST EVER WATCH THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsXyRVQN70U

park_star@rdkpickle no offense, that description does not make me want to watch that…

rdkpickle@park_star okay how about this: NO ACTUAL SPIDERS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsXyRVQN70U

park_star@rdkpickle ok, you win.

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samjshahWent to see RENT tonight. I first saw it in 1998.

cheesemonkeysf@samjshah You went ON A SCHOOL NIGHT??? I’m dumbfounded.

cheesemonkeysf@samjshah @lmhenry9 I don’t know if I can bear this. The new you is wild indeed.

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sarcasymptoteI HAVE A BEER IN ONE HAND AND A FISTFUL OF CHEESEBALLS IN THE OTHER.

park_star@sarcasymptote I AM SO JEALOUS.

k8nowak@sarcasymptote HOW ARE YOU TWEETING?

Mythagon@sarcasymptote how are you typing? wait, I don’t actually want to know that.

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dcox21Heading off to watch soccer. While I’m gone: compare/contrast Pumped Up Kicks and Jeremy. Go.

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sarcasymptoteNote on back if quiz- “dear mr ‘i don’t give extra credit’: I bet Gandhi would give me some extra credit!” then she drew me as a cat.

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bowmanimal@Fouss i clicked those dudes like 150 times hoping they would make a sound but i couldn’t do it either…

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j_lanier@bowmanimal also, apparently my autocorrect for “doable” is “spanked”. Lol

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calcdaveP***s math: http://t.co/8BNbYtd4

dandersod@calcdave why’d you block out your name?

calcdave@dandersod Didn’t want to get blamed when people started tripping?

Fouss@calcdave @dandersod I just wish @samjshah could see this convo. I need it to be noted in his favorite tweets.

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k8nowak#needaredstamp http://yfrog.com/kk1tyhoj

park_star@calcdave @PamLPatterson @k8nowak Here we use it for “Well That’s Fantastic!’ ;-)

calcdave@park_star @PamLPatterson @k8nowak Wasn’t That Foolish

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lostinrecursionI really loved that session on #studentchoice at#edcampnyc. Thank you edcampers for making it so good!

samjshah@lostinrecursion you can’t love your own session! that lack of modesty is why you’re so supremely unpopular.

lostinrecursion@samjshah I said thank you. TO YOU for your participation. Gift Horse’s mouth has been looked at BY YOU!!!#forshame

samjshah@lostinrecursion you should have listed me by name. if you’re not mistaken, you did a GENERAL thank you. but i’m SPECIAL and need to be told

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balongmBest excuse of the year about an incomplete assignment: my dog ate through my internet cable. True story.

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sarcasymptoteOh well. Another year that I don’t win the Nobel Peace Prize.

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misscalcul8How can I use unicorns to introduce imaginary/complex numbers? Don’t let me down @samjshah@sarcasymptote @k8nowak @dcox21

k8nowak@misscalcul8 @samjshah @sarcasymptote@dcox21 ”A unicorn wants to find two numbers whose sum is 14 and product is 50…”

dcox21@k8nowak @misscalcul8 @samjshah@sarcasymptote But that’s a bogus question. Unicorns can’t count to 50.

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sophgermainHey twitter i haven’t been around for a while but have you seen feminist Ryan Gosling? http://feministryangosling.tumblr.com/ cc// @samjshah @sarcasymptote?

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MythagonTeacher: “maybe it’s in Slytherin…what’s that language called?” me: “parseltongue” teacher: “…I figured you would know that.” #win

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dcox21@samjshah Ok, where did you get the scratch off? I love that idea!

samjshah@dcox21 http://tinyurl.com/68ph2ab

dcox21@samjshah You realize that you DID lmgtfy me right? I’ve been sitting on a picture of a really big centipede for a while. Was gonna delete.

samjshah@dcox21 hahaha. *gulp*

dcox21@samjshah NO, you know what? I’m going to be the bigger person. Consider it deleted.

dcox21@samjshah It was pretty scary, though. Thought I killed it and it reached around and grabbed me through the paper towel.

samjshah@dcox21 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW are you SERIOUS? this creature must have major cajones. but with so many legs…

dcox21@samjshah I dropped it and might have hopped in the air and let out a yelp.

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druinok@samjshah we totally need a favorite tweets soon :) Pretty please? With sugar on top? :)

samjshah@druinok the problem is i haven’t been following twitter so well! (at all!) for a while. so i feel guilty. but i’ll try to get on it.

SweenWSweens@samjshah ’s on now, QUICK everyone say something funny!

park_star@SweenWSweens @samjshah dude, do you just pop up whenever someone says “be funny?”

Fouss@park_star @SweenWSweens @samjshah That was seriously funny.

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SweenWSweensOh man! It’s almost Halloween. I gotta get my twitter costume ready.

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fnoschese@sarcasymptote @dcox21 @samjshah @dcox21@samjshah lmgtfy’d ?

samjshah@fnoschese @sarcasymptote @dcox21 http://tinyurl.com/6znzyp … talk about a window of opening…

fnoschese@samjshah (#FACEPALM)^100 @sarcasymptote@dcox21

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hemantmehtaStudent: I know how much you make! I found it online!

Me: And…?

Student: I’m *really* sorry.

#HighSchoolTeacher