Favorite Tweets #6

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sumidiot getting excited about spending my evening proctoring an exam. wait, what? no, that’s not right. dammit.

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bacapmath But the big one was today at our students’ graduation exercises. I was awarded the Laferriere Chair for Excellence in Teaching.

bacapmath Thanks for making me think, inspiring me, and energizing me, and thus doing the same for my students! Hopefully I can do the same for you!

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colleenk Sad that I never make it onto @samjshah‘s favorite tweets post. Who wants to school me in the art of witty banter?

hemantmehta @colleenk We’ll totally make it. Quick! Say something witty, yet intelligent, yet snarky, yet math-related.

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pepepacha Say the truths that help to build up community, not your own case, however strong and important it is to you.

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jbrtva @samjshah thanks for the favorite tweets post! I feel caught up with the banter now, at least. :-)

samjshah @jbrtva i made it yesterday for you! you ask and i provide! (and vice versa)

JackieB @samjshah As long as you’re providing what we ask for, I’d love an omelette right about now.

SweenWSweens @samjshah @jackieb Bagel and a coffee please.

k8nowak @SweenWSweens @samjshah @jackieb I could use a coffee. Light half n half, no sugar.

samjshah @k8nowak @SweenWSweens @JackieB open your front doors in 5 minutes.

JackieB @samjshah Opened my front door and all I found was a squirrel eating at my birdfeeder. Hrmph.

samjshah @JackieB but i put that squirrel there FOR you! next to the 5 egg veggie-filled omlet. is the omlet missing? a giant spider must’ve taken it

SweenWSweens @samjshah mmm, blueberry’s my favorite. How’d you know? http://mobile.tweetphoto.com/21740630

samjshah @SweenWSweens it’s scary how much i know about you. i would be scared, if i were you.

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JackieB Love the username @sarcasymptote.

sarcasymptote @JackieB thanks. my students tend to think that “jackasymptote” is more fitting, though.

JackieB @sarcasymptote Oh, you’re going to fit in nicely around here.

samjshah @JackieB haha, i know you meant your last tweet honestly, but i read it in my head sarcastically. yeah…REAL nicely…

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CmonMattTHINK I may be in danger of having YET ANOTHER Collatz-conjecture relapse. Must… stay… away…

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CardsChic WHOA! A really cute guy just walked by my window with a box… but he’s going the wrong way! He’s moving out! Where have you been hiding?!

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k8nowak A couple who lives in my building likes to stand outside in the parking lot and have super melodramatic fights. It’s kind of hysterical.

k8nowak “I hate my life so much!” “your inability to feel joy ruins every day for me!” direct quotes. No kidding. Just break up already.

jybuell @k8nowak you live next door to my high school prom date?

k8nowak @cannonsr ugh… These two seem to prefer late night. Sometimes they are in my dreams.

k8nowak @jybuell doubt it, but she sounds delightful.

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CmonMattTHINK @dcox21 @mctownsley @mrsbmg Um… When a student talks about “doing #2 on the board”, it takes all I have to stifle laughter. I’m 35.

mwmathews @CmonMattTHINK @dcox @MrsBMG @mctownsley I had to quit using “p” as a variable in % problems b/c my 6th graders couldn’t handle it.

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approx_normal Another inappropriate project… All I can say is they took “asymptotes” exactly where you *think* they’d take it.

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smallesttwine When I lose it I am absolutely insane “If anyone else talks during the quiz you will be sent out! Ask for a pencil? OUT! Sneezing? Out!”

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JackieB “I couldn’t remember the distance formula, so I just used the Pythagorean Theorem”. Poor kid thought I was going to be upset by this.

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dcox21 Rough day. Don’t have many of those.

dcox21 @samjshah Thanks. Nothing a date night can’t fix. ;-)

samjshah @dcox21 ewwwwww – i am NOT liking the wink that accompanied your tweet. there are connotations, man, connotations.

approx_normal @samjshah Know what u mean. I read @dcox21 ‘s post and heard “Bom chicka wah wah” in my head… Unfortunately, Alvin was singing it.*shiver*

dcox21 @samjshah @approx_normal I guess I should clarify. We have a chaperone so cool your jets there turbo. http://yfrog.com/jydgwj

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approx_normal Just read @samjshah ‘s blog and screamed “I MADE THE LIST!” at my son’s game. Lady in front row gestured to coach that I’ve been drinking.

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k8nowak Why would you need to know the degree measure of an arc?

dcox21 @k8nowak ‘Cause it’s in chapter 8 of the book. What, that’s not good enough for you?

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SweenWSweens @k8nowak @samjshah On our roadtrip make sure I tell you the hilarious story about the spider in my class room. (Don’t worry it’s not scary)

msgregson @SweenWSweens @samjshah @k8nowak you guys are taking a roadtrip? where? when? FUN!

SweenWSweens @msgregson Baltimore NCTM. You’re gonna meet us there, right?

msgregson @SweenWSweens when is it?!

msgregson @SweenWSweens nevermind, i see.

msgregson @SweenWSweens maybe i can! that’s far away though! and i don’t know where i’ll be teaching next year. i’ll see when things get decided!

SweenWSweens @msgregson You’re lucky I reloaded too slow. You almost got lmgtfy’d :-P

SweenWSweens @Fouss From Sam’s own description of staying over night at his place, I’m not sure we’d all make it that far.

Fouss @SweenWSweens You mean that he’s expecting all of the roadtrippers to stay at his place?

SweenWSweens @Fouss nah, I just vaguely remember a tweet about how spending too much time him might result in his own death

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Fouss Yes, we have a quiz today. #needaredstamp

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Fouss OMG. I made @k8nowak‘s blog roll. Wow.

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ThinkThankThunk @SweenWSweens @k8nowak @CmonMattTHINK Hey, I’m a both No. 1 and No. 2!

ThinkThankThunk @SweenWSweens Insert appropriate potty joke

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park_star My new favorite line when kids try to make excuses about things they need to do (instead of math/homework) is

park_star “Why don’t you call your parents and ask them what they prefer?” Crazily enough, no one ever actually calls, they just sit down & work…

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Fouss One of my kids just told me he had a “half-hearted bloody nose”. Apparently it’s not a gusher. Funny.

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CmonMattTHINK I know I sound like a broken record, but… I am about ready to throttle my seniors. The whining and complaining is just… astounding.

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Mrs_Fuller RT @jreulbach RT @calcdave Ellipse is not a Twilight series novel #needaredstamp This HAS to make @samjshah ‘s fav tweets of the week! LOL!

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jybuell My wife is showing my oldest daughter how to spray whipped cream into her mouth. #teachablemoments

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samjshah and a treat for you @k8nowak, because i know you enjoy when kids age 7 go buck wild in totes inapprops ways. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wjehii-jjHE&feature=player_embedded

CmonMattTHINK @samjshah Thanks–I think I have to go to jail now for watching that, the pained grimace on my face notwithstanding.

k8nowak @samjshah Aside from the costumes, song choice, and choreography, I have no problems with that.

samjshah @k8nowak agreed. those small negatives were a small price to pay to be rewarded with 4 minutes of joy.

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CmonMattTHINK @mctownsley @ThinkThankThunk {students who think they understand a concept} != {students who actually understand the concept}

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JamiDanielle when ur talking to one of ur in-the-flesh colleagues about an idea a Twitter colleague posted, how do u refer to the Twitter peeps? Awkward.

k8nowak @JamiDanielle just pretend like it’s your idea.

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CmonMattTHINK From a Calc student e-mail: “I am defiantly going to try for a 90% on tomorrow’s quiz, Mr. Enlow.” 1st I thought “typo,” but.. maybe not…

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thescamdog @CmonMattTHINK I used wolfram to get factorizations. I was in a meeting working on an iPhone, so I didn’t look closely enough for patterns.

thescamdog @CmonMattTHINK Forgot by boss follows me on Twitter. I probably shouldn’t have mentioned playing with math during a meeting.

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k8nowak We ordered math dept polos and I should have ordered 1 size up. All day I felt like I should be collecting tips in the hallway.

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k8nowak Oh MAN. Came early for chaperoning to walk on the track, and there’s a lacrosse game. Stupid sports.

dcox21 @k8nowak One time I went to the stadium to run the steps and there were all these people in my way watching a football game. The nerve.

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k8nowak Why does iphone autocorrect to “thy” all the time, when I meant “that” or “the”? Who says “thy”? Really iphone? That’s your best guess?

SweenWSweens @k8nowak I tried to call my friend a jerk and it autocorrected to “Thou cullionly scurvy-valiant flap-dragon”

dcox21 @k8nowak Go to settings and change your language settings. You probably have “formal English” selected.Choices are formal, common and slang.

k8nowak @dcox21 I can’t find those settings. I only see Languages under International, and the only choice is English.

dcox21 @k8nowak Oh, your’s doesn’t have slang?

k8nowak @dcox21 You are taking this Be Less Helpful thing to a ludicrous extreme. Slap-dragon.

dcox21 @k8nowak You must have the 3G. Mine does dialects; autocorrects “Pahk da cah,” and “That thar’s funny.”

SweenWSweens @k8nowak @dcox21 What a mammering lily-livered pumpion.

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samjshah you know what makes the fact that im stuck in bed sick better? the fact that a marching band has been playing outside my window for … EVER

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jybuell2 hr blackout. No internet. Wtching cell slowly die. It was like some geek horror movie. #lasttweetonearth

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samjshah wanted to see how bad my computer battery was. took some data. minutes using battery vs. % of battery left. BAD http://brizzly.com/pic/2G8L

k8nowak@samjshah Oooh! ooh!. I’m a do that too. Let’s compare slopes.

samjshah @k8nowak i see a good final exam question forming for my alg ii kids… post your data too!!!

samjshah OMG @k8nowak i want to make this into a final exam problem so bad. twitter convo (names redacted) and all.

k8nowak @samjshah DO IT. you don’t even have to redact my name. i’m so badass.

JackieB @samjshah More data: http://img.skitch.com/20100515-1pe7kxcd3psrtxq67jksg8gpbw.jpg

samjshah @JackieB your laptop is better than my laptop.

k8nowak @samjshah do you just want 40 minutes of battery data, or should i run it all the way down?

k8nowak @samjshah here is the best one http://img.skitch.com/20100516-ey4embr3x472tq3kenqq7xau74.jpg let me know if you need more/different data

samjshah @k8nowak your battery is also better than mine. @samjshah < @jackieB < @k8nowak.

JackieB @samjshah I always knew that @k8nowak was greater than me. :-)

k8nowak @JackieB @samjshah my battery is getting a big head

Mrs_Fuller @k8nowak @JackieB @samjshah Darn it, y’all got me hooked! I’m collecting data on my battery life now. This little netbook CLAIMS 9 hours

Mrs_Fuller @jreulbach @k8nowak @JackieB @samjshah Here’s my data . . . interested to run down the whole battery . . . http://mobile.tweetphoto.com/22724858

jybuell @samjshah Here you go Sam. My laptop. http://skitch.com/jbuell/dd3e8/battery Charged an ipod for about 15 min to see if there was a diff

nyates314I may have the worst laptop battery life of all! (@samjshah @k8nowak @JackieB) Here’s my graph: https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0Adk4_OCNHO-bZGQzc2NreHBfMTFkenc3NDljYg&hl=en

SweenWSweens@nyates314 @k8nowak @JackieB @samjshah I don’t know what the laptop stuff is all about buy BLAM! http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0Al-Gux1TAuSydFBTSnljSDQ2TWQydHA5czE1LUdNclE&hl=en

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druinok One of the teachers at my school just posted a video of @ddmeyer – kind of a weird feeling to automatically think “Hey! That’s Dan!” :)

samjshah @druinok i was on a bus on a class trip to the zoo when the history teacher next to me asked me if i had watched @ddmeyer‘s TED talk. whaaa?

samjshah @druinok i was like “yeah. um…how do YOU know about it, history teacher?” it’s awesome, but the fame’s gotta be a lot for him to deal with

jybuell @samjshah @druinok worse for me. Dan is within spitting distance an nobody has heard of him. Even worse, nobody knew what TED was

samjshah @jybuell @druinok spitting distance? (a) physical distance is SOOO 20th century (b) @ddmeyer seems to be in mexico: http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hq=http:%2F%2Fmaps.google.com%2Fhelp%2Fmaps%2Fdirections%2Fbiking%2Fmapplet.kml&ie=UTF8&dirflg=b&hl=en&msa=0&msid=102961433061679876855.000484f12a77524f148fe&ll=39.300299,-93.339844&spn=31.685063,79.013672&t=p&z=4

jybuell @samjshah @druinok otoh I can blog whateva I want. I think they’re scared of getting stuck in the tubes if they go on the Internet

jybuell @samjshah @druinok u must know by now he’s got multiple clones. How else can 1 guy teach, have another job, go 2 NY 4 a ten minute speech…

SweenWSweens @ddmeyer Dan, @jybuell knows of the cloning process. He must be taken care of…

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samjshah“it’s a mullet” “it’s a choice baby. business in the front, party in the back.”

dcox21 @samjshah Did someone say “mullet?” http://yfrog.com/0nhi4vj http://yfrog.com/jbk8nej http://yfrog.com/5zbtczj http://yfrog.com/4v7toj

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k8nowak This is right up there with my dumbest problems of all time – invert orientation and only put 6s an 9s in it. http://yfrog.com/1sbocj

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calcdave Do you even know what a rhetorical question is?!

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ThinkThankThunk YES! They will do the homework if you don’t grade it! I promise. They’ll even have to make connections and self-assess to do it!

calcdave @ThinkThankThunk Heh. Mine don’t. I’ve tried it two years in a row and those algebra 2 kids refuse to do HW regularly.

dcox21 @ThinkThankThunk School’s no about learning, it’s about “getting” points. What turnip truck did you fall off of?

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dcox21You just can’t teach this kind of organizational skill. http://yfrog.com/1xs2xvj http://yfrog.com/fvqrej

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k8nowakFor some reason this year I’m “Miss Noweezie.” At first it was a small group of students calling me that but now it’s like every kid.

SweenWSweens @ThinkThankThunk @k8nowak My 1st day teaching students called me Sweendog, I acted all offended and said “Excuse me, I prefer.. Sweendeezy”

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samjshah today when teaching my hat flew off in a dramatic moment… the following conversation ensued.

samjshah i clasped my head and said “my head is naked!”; student: “wow, i haven’t seen you w/out a hat all year!”

calcdave @samjshah In my head, that scene looks like a cartoon where the hat jumps off with a slide-whistle sound effect.

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approx_normal Missed “chuck” last week – I’m totally lost. Where’s Cpt Awesome? Why is Ellie talkin to a weird guy? Why is their dad here??? Aw, Chuck ME!

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msgregson apparently the words asymptote and hole are funny when talked about together.

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msgregson @Fouss i’ve been looking at your box.net and been like “oooooh! trig identities” and opened it and realized it was mine! :)

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calcdaveRT @malki: The alligator is just pleased to be noticed. http://bit.ly/cXkdNi :: something to put up in the classroom

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k8nowak @samjshah SHAH. *slap* Put your helmet on and GET IN THE GAME!!

samjshah @k8nowak is it sad that i’m so not into sports that my first thought for that phrase was http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TspDkbq9WM

druinok @samjshah is it sad that as soon as I read your tweet, I knew exactly what you were thinking?

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rileylark Every time I try to explain logarithms I use the example of log_2(4). Who can find all ten thousand reasons this is a bad example? Frick.

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k8nowak I just had potato chips for dinner. Sorry, arteries.

cannonsr @k8nowak I had popcorn (and cupcake) for dinner. A little more cooking involved, but not much more nutrition.

CardsChic @cannonsr @k8nowak Suddenly my Domino’s pasta bowl and chocolate lava cakes isn’t sounding so terrible. :)

k8nowak @cannonsr @cardschic I have no excuse either. Just my vast, vast shame.

cannonsr @k8nowak And by shame you mean deliciousness, right?

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jybuellI don’t need Inbox Zero. I need Google Reader Zero.

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SweenWSweens @k8nowak @samjshah @dcox21 http://yfrog.com/5gfg6hj sesame streete fore lyfe!

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dcox21Jabin did you hit your brother? No, Dad, I smacked him. Oh, in that case… #fb

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k8nowakAnybody want to go to a high school talent show tonight? No? Didn’t think so. Meh.

dcox21 @k8nowak Oooh, ooh me, me, me!

sarcasymptote @k8nowak ill be thinking about that while im seeing josh ritter play tonight.

k8nowak @sarcasymptote I get to see a kid break boards with his feet and get hit on by a creepy dad. I know you’re secretly jealous.

dcox21 @k8nowak @sarcasymptote Are you getting hit on by the creepy dad or is the kid?

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dcox21I’m beginning to assess my children’s behavior with a rubric. #sbg

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cannonsr @samjshah Only sexy people only twitter with math teachers.

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JackieB “Do you have a calculator I can borrow? I think I lost mine at the beach yesterday.” Oh, the joys of teaching seniors in May. :-)

wmcneary @JackieB Who takes a calculator to the beach?

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ThinkThankThunk just signed my contract for next year. I put a “1″ at the front of my salary. Think they’ll notice?

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dcox21Turn off your random math term generator and think about what you’re saying. #needaredstamp