Here’s #1 and #2. It’s the start of my spring break and I’m about to head to San Francisco to meet up with some high school and college friends. Consequently I won’t have much to blog about for a while. I thought it might be nice to leave with a post of the funniest/best tweets of recent days. There have been a spate of good ones that I’ve been saving.

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CardsChic If kids aren’t doing well on these outlines because I didn’t explain it clearly enough, is it bad of me to blanket add 5 pts to all scores?

samjshah @CardsChic sure – give ’em 5 pts. but before that, i would also tell my kids that i feel bad bc i feel i didn’t explain it clearly enough…

samjshah @CardsChic so… so… THEY’RE ALL GETTING A CAR. [massive applause] then be like “oh, wait, actually you’re getting 5 pts bc i messed up.”

dcox21 @samjshah that’s better than outtakes after a movie.

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jbrtva Feeling pretty awesome that I made @samjshah‘s Favorite Tweets v.2 post. I must’ve gained funny points in the past couple weeks :-)

samjshah @jbrtva that was my favorite convo EVER. i could have continued that riff for … 10 to 20 years … actually, at least 10 to 20 years.

jbrtva @samjshah With my dating history, you might be able to! :-) That convo made me smile, too.

k8nowak @samjshah @jbrtva next thing you know Sam’s making “invite him for coffee and” t-shirts.

samjshah @k8nowak @jbrtva not a bad idea, not a bad idea at all.

CardsChic @k8nowak @samjshah @jbrtva As long as the back says #didImisssomething?

k8nowak @CardsChic @samjshah @jbrtva Genius. She stays.

CardsChic @k8nowak @samjshah @jbrtva I’m in! Yesssssssssssss! *pumps fist*

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dcox21 @samjshah I don’t care if I made your list. I’m still not sharing the cupcakes. #eatingmexicanfoodalone

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weemooseus @druinok Its bad when one’s significant other says, “Turn off the teacher!”

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dcox21 Jabin requested a diaper change by telling me he had “junk in the trunk.” #fb

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samjshah in other news, i got my “i only twitter with math teachers” shirt in the mail today. the gold is REALLY GOLD and the red looks awesome. A+.

samjshah for those who requested the narcissistic photoshoot with my twitter t-shirt: (1.) go here https://samjshah.com/2010/02/22/twitter-t-shirts/ (2.) scroll down (3.) drool

samjshah if you want to make my visage your wallpaper, i understand. i won’t stand in your way.

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dcox21 No really, it’s ok to write things down. #needaredstamp

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SweenWSweens Did you really think all you needed to do on that calculus question was use basic algebra? #needaredstamp

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CmonMattTHINK @k8nowak @samjshah though I must say, while Im unfamiliar with Felicia Day, after visiting her site I have two words and theyre both “hubba”

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dcox21 f(x) does not mean f times x. #needaredstamp

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k8nowak So on the Family Feud pi day survey, I was the highest vote getter for both “meanest math teacher” and “nicest math teacher”

CardsChic @k8nowak Does this mean you win the Bipolar Teacher of the Year award? Shoot, thought I had that locked up…

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Fouss http://twitpic.com/16sggu – Me and @amfago with our cool shirts on!

msgregson @Fouss that’s awesome!!!

Fouss @msgregson @cardschic the kids loved them! That’s all I heard about all day :)

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k8nowak For those of you following along at home: IT guy casually mentions “his girlfriend” today.

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dansmath @samjshah @k8nowak @JackieB @Fouss @dcox21 @msgregson @cnansen @RobertTalbert @ddmeyer – I HAVE a red stamp! http://img72.yfrog.com/i/e2f.jpg/

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k8nowak @cwoody222 Today at Kohl’s I bought underpants from a former student. Fun times.

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JackieB “How dare anyone think that you can transform a child if you can’t be transformed yourself” @ChrisLehmann #TEDxNYED

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Stelladuma Dan Meyer makes me rethink.

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CarissaJuneK hubby just realized that was jake gyllenhall…#stopstaringatrachelmcadams

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SweenWSweens Here’s a good one… http://brizzly.com/pic/1NPJ

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derekbruff been hovering just under 500 followers for a few days now. determined to hit 500. so: justin bieber.

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Fouss @MSeiler try @k8nowak, @msgregson, @samjshah, @calcdave, @dcox21. That should be good for starters. :)

dcox21 @Fouss @mseiler @k8nowak @msgregson @samjshah @calcdave Batting fifth in quite a lineup. ;-)

samjshah @dcox21 first is the worst, second is the best, fifth is … expendable.

dcox21 @samjshah should I tell that to my children?

dcox21 @samjshah Hey wait! Did you just say I’m expendable?

Fouss @dcox21 @samjshah When it’s an all-star lineup, does order really matter? :)

samjshah @dcox21 hahahahaha. your fifth won’t even know what you’re saying. you’re safe. for now.

dcox21 @cannonsr got me. I should clarify…my contract /allows/ me to keep them all. @samjshah‘s logic makes it optional.

dcox21 @samjshah “I’m expendable? But Mr. Shah, look at me.” http://img521.yfrog.com/i/weib.jpg/

cannonsr @dcox21 The picture wins. Can’t trump the baby card.

samjshah @dcox21 omg, that’s WAY too cute. okay, you MUST keep him. but you are NOT allowed to give him sharp objects anymore. NO MORE.

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Fouss It may just be the glasses, but Andrew Garcia (contestant on American Idol) reminds me of @samjshah. Anyone else?

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jbrtva “What’s the worst part about math jokes? If you get them, you probably don’t have friends” HA! from komplexify.com/blog (via @samjshah buzz)

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CmonMattTHINK When trying to plan interesting lessons or projects, I need to keep repeating to myself: The perfect is the enemy of the good.

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k8nowak Steven has been silent all year. Today he raises his hand to answer a question. “Whoa, Steven talked!” “Oh yeah. I forgot I don’t do that.”

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k8nowak My GR subscribers went up to 600 and then down to 599. First time I ever saw it go down. Knife to the heart, Internet. Knife to the heart.

samjshah @k8nowak don’t tell me you’re complaining about having 599 readers now, SHEESH. talk about DIVA.

k8nowak @samjshah I’m complaining about the instantaneous rate of change. I thought YOU of all people would understand. SHEESH.

samjshah @k8nowak df(t)/dt is negative. Aaaahahshahah.

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CmonMattTHINK Somewhere out there in the ether there is a perfect analogy for trying to teach Calc to students who cant do Alg. I’ll come up w/ it someday

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Fouss Verifying trig identities today!!! My FAVORITE day of the year!

calcdave @Fouss Haha. In my voice, that sentence would sound sarcastic.

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jbrtva @samjshah @calcdave I propose we have a twitter brunch someday..maybe after we all meet at a conference or something. I nominate Sam’s place

k8nowak @jbrtva @samjshah @calcdave I second your nomination.

SweenWSweens @k8nowak @jbrtva @calcdave @samjshah Third. When’s the next big east coast math conference?

dcox21 @k8nowak @jbrtva @samjshah @calcdave You can all come to my house. August is great here. Ask Kate.

k8nowak @dcox21 @jbrtva @samjshah @calcdave it’s the only time to go. The manure odor is at its peak.

dcox21 @k8nowak @jbrtva @samjshah @calcdave Don’t worry, we’ll pen up the cows and pigs for y’all.

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samjshah AHHHHH, i lost an hour. did anyone see it? when last seen, it was about 60 minutes. it was holding a lot of errands or some extra sleep.

h_math @samjshah Saw it, liked it so much I kept it. Came in handy.

macsmath Spring forward on pi day?! as a math guy, I feel gypped!!

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busynessgirl If you have A=B+C, then when you take the log of both sides, it is log(A)=log(B+C) not log(B)+log(C) #needaredstamp

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samjshah one of my students yesterday was using ROTXA and ROTYA to mean “reflect over the x/y axis.” LOVE IT! may start using it. ROTYA 4EVAH!

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samjshah today when announcing the top AMC scores to the entire high school, i said “as we are basking in the glowing penumbra [of] pi day…”

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k8nowak “Ms Nowak, I can’t measure in mm. This ruler only has in and cm on it.”

k8nowak “Oh. You’re right. Here, hold this while I jump out the window.”

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k8nowak Harry: “I programmed my calculator to do law of cosines. Is that ok?” Matt: “YOU’RE A WIZARD, HARRY!”

k8nowak I wonder how long Matt’s been waiting to say that.

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dcox21 @samjshah If I can get you to try this, there’s no hope for a carnivorous future. http://img257.yfrog.com/i/wvn.jpg/

samjshah @dcox21 nope, that looks gross. like a liver that someone cut an umbilical cord off of and threw sand on.

dcox21 @samjshah OH YEAH?! Well you just dangled a preposition. So, there!

samjshah @dcox21 what can i say? i live on the wild side when it comes to standard English grammatical practices. I spit on Strunk AND White.

dcox21 @samjshah and I bet you don’t give a &$&% about the Oxford Comma either.

samjshah @dcox21 I’ve seen those English dramas too. They’re cruel.

[note: http://bit.ly/dv3hvd%5D

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lpudwell earlier this morning, i was in my office when i overheard the following….

lpudwell student: “professor, i have a question” colleague: “you only get one question per day, and you’ve already used your limit.”

lpudwell student: “oh, sorry.” (starts to walk away) colleague: “wait a minute, come back. i’ll let you ask yesterday’s question.”

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samjshah best comment on an article on quantum mechanics: “I both understand & did not understand this article at the same time” http://www.nature.com/news/2010/100317/full/news.2010.130.html#comment-id-9736

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FIN